I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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