You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
