Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
