She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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