I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize