I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
