If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
