How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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