When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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