Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
