last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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