Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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