Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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