i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
