How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
