Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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