I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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