Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
