VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
