it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
