Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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