I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
