There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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