Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
