and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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