peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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