Is it normal to miss your booty call?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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