im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I pour the whiskey from now on
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
