It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
