Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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