literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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