You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
