She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
