My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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