Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
