I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
