3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
