He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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