You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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