What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
