I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
