i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Hippo gnu deer
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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