I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
