It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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