boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
