Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
