he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My pussy is not your playground.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He has the fingertips of a God
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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