You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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