I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
a bad idea.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?