he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
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youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
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Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.