Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles

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  (212): Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles http://tfl.nu/ttbo
  Replies (5) Good night (601) Bad night (979)
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  (323): View more from California

  I'm being pulled over???

  (520): View more from Arizona

  For what!?!?!

  (323): View more from California

  ??? I'm in a cab!!!!!

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  (323): I'm being pulled over??? (520): For what!?!?! (323): ??? I'm in a cab!!!!! http://tfl.nu/d19c
  Replies (8) Good night (821) Bad night (1315)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?

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  (905): Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray? http://tfl.nu/uvnt
  Replies (32) Good night (4695) Bad night (1312)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.

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  (617): I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront. http://tfl.nu/9odf
  Replies (15) Good night (3693) Bad night (686)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.

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  (334): I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around. http://tfl.nu/tfd4
  Replies (12) Good night (1612) Bad night (4929)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  :O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"

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  (971): :O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out" http://tfl.nu/uf6x
  Replies (30) Good night (841) Bad night (11567)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.

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  (240): She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning. http://tfl.nu/tjxq
  Replies (36) Good night (6891) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.

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  (817): I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck. http://tfl.nu/i3zz
  Replies (15) Good night (7874) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.

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  (845): I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again. http://tfl.nu/ku6h
  Replies (15) Good night (3300) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.

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  (816): I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/d5bh
  Replies (3) Good night (2560) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.

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  (+61): Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon. http://tfl.nu/pw6n
  Replies (9) Good night (1993) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.

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  (919): I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping. http://tfl.nu/iyfp
  Replies (10) Good night (2003) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?

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  (509): In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married? http://tfl.nu/eg0w
  Replies (6) Good night (580) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  its 2pm. u awake yet?

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.

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  (406): its 2pm. u awake yet? (1-406): ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face. http://tfl.nu/0qbj
  Replies (0) Good night (324) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom

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  (604): Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom http://tfl.nu/2vz6
  Replies (0) Good night (225) Bad night (516)

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