Texts From Last Night

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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.

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  (910): I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card. http://tfl.nu/3mw9
  Replies (66) Good night (942) Bad night (3168)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.

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  (508): she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her. http://tfl.nu/2xab
  Replies (50) Good night (757) Bad night (3433)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?

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  (443): Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach? http://tfl.nu/arsp
  Replies (31) Good night (2033) Bad night (3289)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...

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  (443): ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads... http://tfl.nu/avzw
  Replies (38) Good night (834) Bad night (14762)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well

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  (412): At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well http://tfl.nu/es2k
  Replies (7) Good night (3930) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.

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  (306): It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story. http://tfl.nu/6m1s
  Replies (14) Good night (1063) Bad night (2832)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.

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  (515): Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake. http://tfl.nu/j6cx
  Replies (3) Good night (2574) Bad night (1055)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne

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  (603): I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne http://tfl.nu/z1js
  Replies (7) Good night (1684) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.

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  (850): It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons. http://tfl.nu/qh0d
  Replies (8) Good night (834) Bad night (2441)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake

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  (267): My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake http://tfl.nu/gq0m
  Replies (13) Good night (3435) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".

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  (727): No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die". http://tfl.nu/gpa4
  Replies (3) Good night (1256) Bad night (528)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card

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  (928): I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card http://tfl.nu/lhlg
  Replies (5) Good night (437) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running

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  (931): Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running http://tfl.nu/vdeh
  Replies (6) Good night (639) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Also, beer. Big fan.

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  (256): Also, beer. Big fan. http://tfl.nu/g295
  Replies (1) Good night (690) Bad night (211)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?

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  (641): He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy? http://tfl.nu/tf1s
  Replies (2) Good night (442) Bad night (571)

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