Texts From Last Night

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  (903): View more from Texas

  I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.

  (903): View more from Texas

  That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.

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  (903): I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative. (903): That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame. http://tfl.nu/rh6l
  Replies (30) Good night (857) Bad night (3546)
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  (+44): View more from England

  I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.

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  (+44): I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment. http://tfl.nu/zeo3
  Replies (37) Good night (7299) Bad night (963)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card

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  (978): almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card http://tfl.nu/wy4z
  Replies (19) Good night (5882) Bad night (1091)
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  (909): View more from California

  He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.

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  (909): He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere. http://tfl.nu/wyhi
  Replies (4) Good night (3171) Bad night (813)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.

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  (603): I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay. http://tfl.nu/s25q
  Replies (8) Good night (4122) Bad night (1137)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.

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  (215): Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver. http://tfl.nu/plce
  Replies (8) Good night (2286) Bad night (690)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."

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  (206): Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't." http://tfl.nu/2qab
  Replies (3) Good night (1956) Bad night (699)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.

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  (269): just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment. http://tfl.nu/lbx2
  Replies (3) Good night (866) Bad night (1367)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.

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  (603): Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final. http://tfl.nu/2gn0
  Replies (7) Good night (2721) Bad night (735)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.

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  (541): We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash. http://tfl.nu/8hyq
  Replies (1) Good night (882) Bad night (559)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic

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  (601): Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic http://tfl.nu/3mbn
  Replies (4) Good night (1204) Bad night (667)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts

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  (203): i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts http://tfl.nu/1fmb
  Replies (0) Good night (423) Bad night (396)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'

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  (973): She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.' http://tfl.nu/tqso
  Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (225)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that

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  (859): Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that http://tfl.nu/ctlq
  Replies (3) Good night (443) Bad night (238)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving

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  (262): well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/ngxm
  Replies (4) Good night (491) Bad night (261)

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