Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad

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  (702): Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad http://tfl.nu/156q
  Replies (61) Good night (7228) Bad night (753)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am

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  (270): If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am http://tfl.nu/t19w
  Replies (19) Good night (4352) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.

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  (416): you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall. http://tfl.nu/i92r
  Replies (11) Good night (4548) Bad night (1014)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.

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  (215): the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign. http://tfl.nu/j53c
  Replies (7) Good night (3241) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.

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  (214): The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to. http://tfl.nu/ot3b
  Replies (2) Good night (1825) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor

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  (412): I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor http://tfl.nu/ext1
  Replies (5) Good night (1021) Bad night (2147)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.

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  (406): Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues. http://tfl.nu/jvdq
  Replies (7) Good night (763) Bad night (1402)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.

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  (+61): Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke. http://tfl.nu/ckis
  Replies (2) Good night (816) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?

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  (610): Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits? http://tfl.nu/td8v
  Replies (15) Good night (2114) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally

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  (605): He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally http://tfl.nu/nljb
  Replies (3) Good night (471) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in

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  (954): I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in http://tfl.nu/4adg
  Replies (4) Good night (915) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?

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  (303): Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob? http://tfl.nu/4t4l
  Replies (9) Good night (1080) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago

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  (443): If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago http://tfl.nu/tavn
  Replies (4) Good night (424) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.

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  (818): She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink. http://tfl.nu/8b21
  Replies (5) Good night (332) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.

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  (252): It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/axbx
  Replies (3) Good night (463) Bad night (264)

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