I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
