My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
