Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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