Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
