i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
