I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
