This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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