is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
