Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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