dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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