You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
