I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
