In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
