that's an acceptable place to lick
I cut my penus on the lid.
you didnt know i had herpes?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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