May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i drank out of a bidet.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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