i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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