i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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